The Cost of Living

I don’t know about you, but I can’t seem to get ahead. I shouldn’t complain because my wife and I make a pretty good living. We’re certainly not rich, but we’re better off than a lot of people, and for that I’m very thankful. Still, I seem to go through life always behind the economic eight ball.

Here’s what happened in a single weekend. Our check finally cleared for our dog’s neutering session. We had to pay full pop and spared no expense because our dog Buddy is part of the family. To paraphrase the old Visa commercial price to get a family member neutered: $400.

I decided to take my wife’s car in to have the oil changed. While waiting, I got a call from the technician. Her two front tires were bald. Since it’s a safety issue, I told him to change the tires. Price of tires, oil change and alignment: $500.

I went home to make myself some lunch. It was getting warm, so when I walked into the living room, I decided to turn on the air conditioner. When I flipped on the switch, the unit wasn’t working. I spent the next hour drenched in sweat trying to troubleshoot the unit. No luck, so I called a repair service for an estimate. Sight unseen, the lowest estimate for a replacement made my head spin. Price of a replacement air conditioning unit: $700.

I went to the garage to put my tools back and when I tried to open the garage door, it wouldn’t work! That night I went to bed with the hope that the next day would be better. It started out that way as my wife was making us waffles for breakfast. I suddenly heard her cry out.

“My waffles are ruined. This waffle iron isn’t working!” She looked at me and continued, “Ron, I need a new waffle iron.” I threw my arms up in the air and replied, “Honey, we’re not billionaires, eat some freaking toast!”

Catching myself being a jerk, I apologized and gave her a big hug.

My wife whispered in my ear, “Uh, the toaster’s not working either.”

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