As Seen On TV

I don’t know about you, but I am a sucker for those products being sold on infomercials on TV. I think I’m a relatively intelligent guy, but something hereditary was passed down to me by my father that has me buying things I don’t need.

I can remember once when my dad ordered cases of drinking glasses that had “N,” the first initial of our last name, etched into them.

He thought it would be classy for parties. There must have been a closeout on the letter N because cases and cases of glasses were delivered to our house.

My mom was fuming because she didn’t have the cabinet space for all my dad’s glasses.

To this day, nearly 40 years later, we still have those drinking vessels, which I will probably pass on one day to my great-grandchildren.

Anyway, my latest product passion came about because our clothes dryer wasn’t working too well.

When my wife told me about it, I declared that we needed a Lint Lizard.

If you’ve been in a coma, don’t watch TV or read email spam, a Lint Lizard is a tube you attach to your home vacuum and then run the tube into your dryer to suck up all the excess lint that is clogging up the unit.

Upon hearing this, my wife said, “Uh, no! You are not ordering a Lint thingamajig.”

With that, I decided to make my own.

I went to the pet store and bought aquarium tubing. I connected it to our expensive Dyson vacuum cleaner with duct tape and ran the tube deep into the dryer.

Sparing you the details, I ended up breaking both the dryer and the vacuum cleaner.

I told my wife I decided we were going to join the “green” movement and dry our clothes outside on a clothesline.

Then I slithered away.